Motivation

Lately I have been a bit on the overly motivated side. I always feel so accompished when the majority of my life is in order:

Bills are paid

Homework is Done

House is Clean

I always feel so much stress lifted if I can get these 3 things off my mind.

I wonder why

Beginning of the End

Today it hit me that Colby REALLY is growing up and isn't always going to be a baby. For most people this is obvious, but to a mother speaking of her last child it is a HARSH reality.

Lately, I would say in the last 2 weeks or so Colby has been daily coming up with new words. Coming up with new attitudes, new uses for his eyebrows, new words being used in correct fashions, and most importantly a new name to call his mommy.

I am no longer mommy, I am now MA......WHAT??? How is he old enough to be trying to call me mom...and worse calling me mom when he is clearly angry with my actions of trying to do routine daily activities, which are all now signs that he too has an opinion!!

This is SO DEPRESSING......I want my baby back. I would much rather have the baby days back then realize he is just one of the kids, who is growing up. I want my delusional reality back, my life when sitting in my chair rocking my baby to sleep, because we are up yet again. Being sleep deprived is sounding much more appealing than the road ahead.

I am sure these thoughts are supposed to go through your head BEFORE deciding to have another child. I must say that the natural high you get, when you are craving new life, is a strong high!!!! It blinds you of the reality of the next 18 years~~~

As we approach Colby's 2nd Birthday, Mom will slowly let go, and join the rest of the mommies who too had to let go of their Mommy names and watch their young children grow into beautiful little humans. Well that is if I can get him to quit shooting me, aside from that I am positive he will grown into a wonderful man.

My Peyton Journey

My Peyton is almost 9 now, 3 weeks from today to be exact!!!

Some of you know of my journey with my oldest son Peyton. He has had quite an eventful life filled with many struggles and alot of frustration and many tears.

He has come a long way when it comes to his ability to learn and interact with other children. Since Peyton was 4 years old he has had an IEP, and Individualized Education Plan. He was recognized for needing extra help in speech as well as his social skills.

As of today, he no longer qualifies and will be graduating from speech class.

I have waited for this day since he was about 2.

Peyton is a sweet boy and I am excited for him. He is growing up to be quite the little gentleman.

Love you Pey!

Bloggin Hiatus...

It is time for me to return to "trying" to be a faithful blogger....We will see how that goes!

Cuz Everyone is doing it!!!!

A - Attached or Single: Attached

B - Best Friend: I have a few keepers!!

C - Cake or Pie: Fresh Blueberry Pie....(no bake)

D - Drink of Choice: Diet Coke with LIME

E - Essential Item: Lip Gloss

F - Favorite Color: Smokey Blue

G - Gummi Bears or Worms: Dont they taste the same?? Worms are more Fun!!

H - Hometown: Fernburg

I – Indulgence(s): Ice cream or caramel....or both together I guess would be worse!!

J - January or July: JULY....HOT JULY'S

K - Kids: Yes, aren't they the cutest!!

L - Life is incomplete without: My babies!!

M - Marriage Date: What..why do I need to know this?? November 16,1996-October 10, 2003

N - Number of Siblings: Oh dear....technically 4

O - Oranges or Apples: Oranges

P - Phobias/Fears: Driving off Deception Pass and only able to save ONE kid...

Q - Favorite Quote: "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on." - Robert Frost.

R - Reason to smile: Too many too list

S - Season: SUMMER

T- Tag Three: The 2 people I know who read have already done it!!

U - Unknown Fact About Me: I am in phase 2 of Spinal Decay

V - Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animals: I eat meat.....but barely!

W - Worst Habit: Forgetting to shave my legs...

X - X-rays or Ultrasounds: Ultrasounds, the 3D ones are amazing!!

Y - Your Favorite Foods: I wish I loved food enough to have a favorite, they are all the same to me BLAH!!

Z- Zodiac: LEO

The Fair

I can't help but write about my evening at the fair with my three kids!!! We decided to go very last minute because I was afraid it was going to rain tomorrow (our scheduled day to go).

I left work early to run home and gather all the kids and all the belongings we may need for the evening!! I actually managed to get out in a timely manner I was quite proud of myself. Kay made us all sandwiches and we packed water and crackers too (keeps Colby occupied).

We ran out the door, drove around looking for parking wishing I had called Cutzi!! Its OK I finally found something WAY closer!! Made our way in...and the bickering's begin....Pey wants to go on the rides, Kay wants to blow money on games and ALL I want to do is get some POFFERTJES and look at the exhibits. I quickly discovered this very diverse family was gonna need a plan of action.

I explained to the kids that since we got her later than we normally would and we all want to different things, that we were going to need to be respectful to each other and be patient while we wait for out FUN turn!!

We got bracelets first since there was not a line there.

Got our button pic, I am pissed cuz I take up the whole button!!

Do a couple big kid rides

Took an animal break, looked at all the animals!!!

Spent a good chunk of time in the kiddie section, during which Colby puked for the FIRST TIME EVER, but then he was fine....weird!!

Colby NEEDED milk, so we had to wait in the Dairy Women line for stinking MILK....NO MOOWICH FOR ME.....I held my own!!!

We realized we were starving, so we set up picnic and ate sandwich's, crackers and drank MILK!!! Oh my I amaze myself!!!

Made our way back to the big rides...but the lines were crazy...so it was Kay's time to play games.....she won TWO PENGUINS.... you know she was in heaven!!

Kay decides to stay the night with Keairra, so Peyton and I hit the kid section for 3 more rides....

Walk through the cow barn.....

GET POFFERTJES for me.......

GET MINI DONUTS for Peyton.....

and we were gone!!!!

Tired of defending myself

I am getting a little bit irritated at the world lately. I am going thru this issue that seems to be every ones issue.

As of today, I live with my boyfriend, our son, and my two kids.....

I go to "work" and he stays home. Somehow this has become

1. every one's concern

2. and a window for everyone to give me "advice"

I am sorry never once have I poked into someones life and told them they were living it incorrectly. I am pretty sure this is my life and I get to do what I want (within legal standards of course) I don't know of any laws that state Jason should work and I should stay at home.

Right now this is what works for us and I am getting tired of having to defend and convince people we are normal. Allot of Dad's stay at home. I would rather one of us be home then the kids be in daycare.

I didn't have kids so someone I don't know can raise my kids.