Today it hit me that Colby REALLY is growing up and isn't always going to be a baby. For most people this is obvious, but to a mother speaking of her last child it is a HARSH reality.
Lately, I would say in the last 2 weeks or so Colby has been daily coming up with new words. Coming up with new attitudes, new uses for his eyebrows, new words being used in correct fashions, and most importantly a new name to call his mommy.
I am no longer mommy, I am now MA......WHAT??? How is he old enough to be trying to call me mom...and worse calling me mom when he is clearly angry with my actions of trying to do routine daily activities, which are all now signs that he too has an opinion!!
This is SO DEPRESSING......I want my baby back. I would much rather have the baby days back then realize he is just one of the kids, who is growing up. I want my delusional reality back, my life when sitting in my chair rocking my baby to sleep, because we are up yet again. Being sleep deprived is sounding much more appealing than the road ahead.
I am sure these thoughts are supposed to go through your head BEFORE deciding to have another child. I must say that the natural high you get, when you are craving new life, is a strong high!!!! It blinds you of the reality of the next 18 years~~~
As we approach Colby's 2nd Birthday, Mom will slowly let go, and join the rest of the mommies who too had to let go of their Mommy names and watch their young children grow into beautiful little humans. Well that is if I can get him to quit shooting me, aside from that I am positive he will grown into a wonderful man.
3 comments:
*sniff, sniff*
Awwww. It's such a fun thing watching them grow up. Each phase is so unique and different from their siblings. It is sad and fun at the same time.
He's so cute!!!
It's tough when you realize your last one is growing. I feel like that a lot of the time with Montana. Hugs. You're raising good kids. You're a great mom, and you'll always be their 'mommy'.
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